Cookie and I have had quite a week, getting ready to move out of our house and into a very nice duplex. We’ put our earnest money down on the duplex, and are getting things ready for the two closings. Even with a sound mind, it’d be a whole lot of paper shuffling, and the dementia really livens things up. Our checkbook is starting to look like an accountant’s worse nightmare, with all the scratch-outs and erasing I’ve done.
I’ve always been careful to keep very good records. I’ve prided myself on being able to find things I needed. But dementia doesn’t seem to care about such things. It seems to enjoy all my disorganization, and this change has been very disturbing for me. In my life, I’ve been a tax preparer, a treasurer of several non-profits, and even served as a board member on a credit union board of directors. It’s been very unsettling to know that I’m having these issues, and that they’re going to get worse. I’ve always done my own tax returns, but this year I’m thinking I may go to a pro.
And, of course, there’s the hi-jinks caused by my memory, more specifically the lack thereof. I had forgotten that when the Home Inspector arrived yesterday afternoon, we weren’t supposed to be there. He was a gracious fellow, and occasionally chatted with us as he went about doing his work. When he’d arrived at the house, we saw him talking with another guy, before he came into the house. We figured he probably ran into someone he knew, and so we thought nothing of it.
And then, the phone rang. Our realtor gently reminded us that we weren’t supposed to be home, as the inspector and the buyer were supposed to be inspecting the house. And, to make things even more complicated, the guy the inspector had been talking to was the buyer of the house! Even worse, he’d seen we were home and got into his vehicle and left!
The two realtors were able to work things out over the phone, and we got out while the getting was good. We actually had a very nice couple of hours, getting away from the mess. I even went into a store and did me some some shopping; a rarity as many of you know. Okay, it was just a birthday card for my soon to be son-in-law Michael, but hey, for me it was a major shopping spree!
I’ve learned that dementia loves to add the “dis” to my organization. It is an unending, relentless attack, and there is no real effective defense. The medication I take work to to slow down the process, but they’re not able to stop it. At best, they provide a delaying a delaying effect, as the dementia rolls on. It is a very formidable foe, and I’m still in the earlier stages!
And so I look for strength, any where I can find it. My Spiritual Director gave the above book to me at our last session. It’s a novel about a highly educated woman, who is going through the same journey as me. It is rather eerie to read, as the process she encounters is the pretty much the same as mine. Even when she finally gets the courage to see a neurologist, the tests he administers are the very same tests ones my neurologist gave me. I’m having trouble putting the book down, it is such a real a story for me.
Thank you all for sharing my journey. You are each a special blessing to me. Please pray for Cookie and I in this busy time in our lives, as we send you all our prayers in return.